Hypercast: An ADHD Podcast
Hypercast is your companion through the world of ADHD, offering an authentic and engaging look at life with ADHD. Join ADHD coaches Melissa and Brianna as they navigate the complexities of ADHD with heart, humor, and expert insights. From discussions on the latest research to personal stories of triumphs and struggles, Hypercast delves deep into every facet of ADHD.
Whether you're newly diagnosed, a long-time ADHDer, or someone who loves and supports an ADHDer, this podcast is for you. We explore a variety of topics, from ADHD relationships, late diagnosis, and co-occurring conditions to practical advice on everyday challenges.
Hypercast provides a supportive space for open, honest, and well-informed conversations about ADHD, including the cultural misconceptions and stigmas surrounding it. Melissa and Brianna share strategies, tools, and encouragement to help listeners thrive and navigate a world not built for their neurodivergent minds.
Tune in for insightful discussions, real-life experiences, and resources to help you along the ADHD journey, and know you're not alone. Hypercast is your auditory haven, bringing community and understanding to every episode.
Hypercast: An ADHD Podcast
Tools for Thriving with ADHD Emotions
How often do you find yourself overwhelmed by emotions? Join us on this episode of Hypercast as we unravel the often misunderstood world of ADHD and emotional regulation. We'll share personal stories that highlight the rapid and intense emotional fluctuations commonly experienced by those with ADHD. Understanding these emotional shifts is essential not just for those with ADHD but also for their loved ones and support networks.
Rejection sensitivity and emotion dysregulation can be especially challenging for individuals with ADHD, sparking anxiety, anger, or sadness from perceived criticism or failure. Traditional mindfulness techniques often fall short, so we dive into the power of personalized mindfulness strategies that prioritize body awareness and emotional regulation. Through tailored approaches, we can boost self-awareness, manage emotions more effectively, and cultivate healthier relationships. We'll also bust some common myths about mindfulness, shedding light on why one-size-fits-all methods might not be the best fit for everyone.
In this episode, you'll gain practical tools and strategies to better manage ADHD . From daily body inventories to the emotion sensation wheel, we offer actionable tips to help you name and understand your feelings. We also explore the concept of "body doubling" for calmness and unconventional emotional labels, making navigating and communicating your inner world easier. Don’t miss out on these invaluable insights designed to help you live your best ADHD life.
Click here for resources discussed in this episode.
Melissa's Contact:
Email: melissa@likemindcoaching.com
www.likemindcoaching.com
Brianna's Contact:
Email: info@understandingadhd.ca
www.understandingADHD.ca
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Hi, there you're listening to Hypercast, an ADHD podcast. I'm Melissa, an ADHD coach and advocate. Hi.
Brianna:I'm Brianna, an ADHD coach and soon-to-be therapist. We are here to explore all things ADHD from unexpected challenges to unique strengths.
Melissa:Join us as we share insights and strategies that empower you to live your best ADHD life.
Brianna:Ready? Let's dive into today's episode? Ready? Let's dive into today's episode, howdy Howdy. Today's episode is about ADHD and emotion, and I know all you ADHDers out there understand what I say. Adhd and emotion regulation is not talked about enough. It's not a part of the DSM criteria and it should be, because I know personally that my emotions are out of control and it's not because I'm crazy, it's not because I'm PMSing, it's not because hormones are what I mean. They are connected, I won't lie. But it's because of my ADHD that I feel high highs, low, lows and I fluctuate between them rapidly. It's often mistaken as anxiety or depression and it just pisses me off that more people don't understand that. It's just a part of the variability and the hyperactivity that our brains have. Obviously it impacts our emotions. It's the same brain, it's the same centers.
Melissa:And not only is our brain hyperactive, but our body can be hyperactive. Our emotions can be hyperactive. I can shift between two emotions in under 30 seconds. They can be very intense emotions and it's dealing with that that's really hard.
Brianna:The reason I wanted to talk about emotions today is because I want there to be more of an understanding, more of an acceptance, more ability to communicate about it. Just having that like awareness around emotion dysregulation and the importance of emotion regulation would allow ADHDers to understand themselves, would allow them to communicate with the world around them and would hopefully get some acceptance and understanding from people around. Hey, sometimes I have an emotional outburst Doesn't mean I hate you Like it doesn't mean I'm broken. It just means that's what my brain is doing and I need you to be a little bit kind to me as I try and regulate so that doesn't happen again. For those of us that aren't familiar with the term emotion dysregulation.
Melissa:Can you explain what it is?
Brianna:Yeah, so regulation is basically like balance, or the fancy word is homeostasis for all you science nerds out there. But basically, when you are regulated, your body is working the way it should. When you are dysregulated, your body is not working the way it should. It's working the way it should. When you are dysregulated, your body is not working the way it should. It's working the way it shouldn't.
Melissa:It's not working the way it should, basically Body and brain.
Brianna:Well, yes, your brain is a part of your body, but I know us ADHDers love to separate. Oh, my brain was braining or my brain was doing this, and it's all connected, it affects everything. So, for example, if you've ever been in like a crowded place there's lots of noise, lots of clinking of cutlery because you're at a restaurant for, say, people are having conversation and there's background noise, the kitchen's loud, people are talking and everything, and you just start to like maybe get a headache, maybe start to get a little bit anxious, maybe you're a little bit on edge, maybe your hair is like standing up on your arms and you like can't really focus on the conversation in front of you or whatever. That's overstimulation and that's a part of emotion dysregulation. You are dysregulated in that moment because there is too much happening and so that would be hyper. And then there's also hypo, which you're. It's like a depressive state, which is why I often get misdiagnosed as depression type of thing, where, uh, you're not feeling anything. You can't feel when you're hungry, you can't feel when you're tired, you can't feel when you have to pee, you can't feel when you're thirsty, like you're just not feeling, and that's another part of emotion dysregulation and you want to be right in that middle piece where you're not overstimulated, you're not under stimulated, because both of those are bad One of them's anxiety, one of them's depression and neither one of them feels very good. So you want to be right in that middle piece and that's why regulation is so important, because when you're dysregulated, that's when it hurts. It's important to know, to check in with your body, to be mindful, to be aware.
Brianna:Adhders lack introception. I will explain what that is in a second. But basically, we lack introception, we lack proprioception. Oh, how far back do I have to go? Five senses, there are more, there are secret senses. So we have sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell. There are secret senses, which is proprioception where our body is in space and interoception, how we're feeling in our bodies.
Brianna:So proprioception, where our body is in space and interoception, how we're feeling in our bodies. So proprioception, where your body is in space. If you're dysregulated, you're bumping into things, you're getting mystery bruises, you're losing balance, maybe clumsy things like that. When you're regulated, you're better able to know where your body is in space. Interoception it's all the things I was talking about before of like hunger, thirst, having to pee, hot and cold temperature regulation. When you're dysregulated which, like, is a part of the whole dysregulation thing, like emotion dysregulation, but just your body being dysregulated you can get too hot and it's a cold day out. You can get too cold, it's a hot day out Our whole bodies and our brains, everything needs to be in this little zone of regulation.
Melissa:With proprioception. I think when someone thinks about emotion dysregulation, like dysregulation sounds like this negative thing, but, like you're saying, you're dysregulated. Sometimes for me it just takes the right distraction or I'm trying to multitask and I start bumping into things because my brain is just overwhelmed by the amount of things I'm trying to do at once. It's not necessarily like I'm having a negative experience at the time, it's just my brain's just a little overwhelmed at that moment.
Brianna:Yeah, exactly when you're in that dysregulated state. It impacts everything. So it can be mood related, which is like the emotion dysregulation part. You can be irritable, have a short fuse, easily overexcited and like sometimes it's good that that dysregulation piece. I hate the good and bad narrative around it. Oh, being dysregulated is bad, it is only because it impacts how you function and how you feel right. But you can be dysregulated in a positive way. You can be super excited about something really happy, really excited, and that's a great feeling. But then when you crash, it's worse. Which is why the consensus around bipolar issues is staying regulated. You don't want the mania, you don't want the depressive episodes, you want to be in the middle. Another reason why ADHD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar in women because we experience those same episodes of mania and depression in a much shorter time frame, which means it's not bipolar, it's not that long period, long term fluctuation.
Melissa:It is fast for us. Period long-term fluctuation 80 is fast for us. I was recently reading something about bipolar disorder and ADHD and to be considered a rapid emotional cycler. With bipolar disorder that means the temperature or the mode of your mood changes four times in a year, but someone with ADHD does that four times in a day at least, at least.
Brianna:Yeah, a low ball account there. Yeah, and staying in that regulated zone is super important because that high and low is really draining and then really terrible, like you crash, yeah, and like with everything else that we were talking about, like temperature regulation, it's that same. If you don't understand it with emotions, you can definitely understand it with temperature. Like sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's cold. Where are you most comfortable? Right in the middle?
Melissa:I have a question how does RSD relate to emotion dysregulation?
Brianna:First of, all, what is RSD? It is rejection sensitivity, dysphoria, and the debate in the community is that is it a dysphoria? Currently, no, so I will be referring to it as rejection sensitivity from here on out, because the dysphoria is still being debated and it's not officially recognized because dysphoria would make it a clinical thing. So rejection sensitivity the way it interacts with emotions and things like that is it's like one of the triggers that would send us into dysregulation. We are hypersensitive to criticism, even perceived criticism, even if it's self-perceived criticism, which is hilarious, because we can send ourselves into dysregulation by believing that other people have perceived that we've failed, but it's our own projection.
Melissa:It's a narrative that we're adding to the situation. It's like someone hasn't returned your text message, so it must mean that I'm a horrible person or I did something wrong, yeah, and then the hyper-personalization of that.
Brianna:Oh oh, I'm a horrible person. I've done something wrong. They didn't reply to a text message. How did you make that leap? That's a big old leap. But that's the point. With adhd, we are so sensitive to that rejection, sensitivity, that's what it is. It's this perceived criticism, this perceived perceived failure, this perceived whatever that will send us into dysregulation with our emotions. So we will become anxious, we will become angry, we will become sad, we will become defensive in a snap right, because something that we perceived, which may not be true in reality, has triggered us and sent us into this emotional spiral, has triggered us and sent us into this emotional spiral, and then we become dysregulated. Then we either get into that low or that high, depending on what direction our spiral took, and now we can no longer manage our emotions, manage our behavior, as a result of those emotions. That's what tends to lead to the outbursts of anger sudden bursts of tears, rage like happiness. All the emotions, they all come sudden bursts.
Melissa:There's some trigger that happened and we just snapped you mentioned in our correspondence, because the way mindfulness and yoga was taught to me was a huge turnoff and made me hate the idea of even trying, or that I could never actually achieve mindfulness because I could never quiet my mind. Can you broaden that story a bit and maybe talk about that?
Brianna:Yeah. So from my therapy background, from my experience, mindfulness is a tool and it was a tool that was taught to me badly. And it was a tool that was taught to me badly. The why was never explained to me of why I should be regulating, why it was so important, why I needed to quiet my mind or whatever, which is not the case. Mindfulness is not quieting your mind.
Brianna:Someone with ADHD, that is nearly impossible. Mindfulness is about regulation. It's about checking in with your body. It's about trying to stay in that zone of tolerance. So where it's the most comfortable is where you want to be. So if you go above or below this zone of tolerance, then you're in for a bad time. So mindfulness is just about staying in that zone.
Brianna:So the way it was taught to me was through yoga and through deep breathing and through sitting still. I can't sit, still. I have ADHD. I have the H part of ADHD in spades. I'm hyperactive in the wazoo. So when they were like we really want you to quiet your mind, we want you to not empty your mind, don't think about anything. We want you to sit completely still. We want you to breathe deep, we really just want you to empty Like I cannot empty my mind, I cannot sit still. You telling me to breathe triggers that demand avoidance in me, because I was already breathing and I was doing it just fine. And are you telling me now I'm never going to breathe again? Me, because I was already breathing and I was doing it just fine. And now you're telling me, now I'm never going to breathe again. Like, screw you guys. So all of that stuff is just. It just made it so distasteful for me to want to engage in this process, to want to check in with my body to my own detriment.
Brianna:For years, I could not tell what emotion I was feeling. I could not tell because of this, not one experience, but like several experiences of people trying to manage my anxiety or manage my depression, or just like even in gym class, I was like, why are we doing yoga in gym class? This is the time for me to run around, the only time for me to run around all day, and I need to run around in order to focus on the rest of my classes. And you're telling me to sit still and breathe and empty my mind. This is a waste of my time, right? So I had this huge like repulsion towards it.
Brianna:And then I had this belief that I couldn't be mindful, that I couldn't do yoga, that I couldn't ever be this person, that I could never regulate my body because I had ADHD and I was just going to exist in this state of dysregulation. Not true. Mindfulness, when adapted to me, works wonderfully. And now I know what emotion I'm feeling. I can recognize in my body when my shoulders get tight or my jaw clenches, when my stomach clenches. I can recognize when I'm feeling anxious and then take steps to not get into that dysregulated state. Also, things like noticing when I was hungry, noticing when I was thirsty, noticing when I was too hot, noticing when I had to pee. Yeah, so when I went through these stages and these steps and I finally realized that I could, that it was possible for me, that the way I was taught was just bad and that I can do this, I am capable of this. It my life and now.
Brianna:I have much better relationships as a result, because I'm not blowing up, yeah, or getting really triggered or really hurt at a perceived rejection. Right, if one of my friends didn't vampire style invite me to an event, like, hey, we're all going to this thing, I'd be like, oh, okay, cool, have fun. I guess sucks that you didn't invite me. And then I would spiral and get really triggered and whatever. Now I'm like oh, hey, did you want me to come? Like I can check in, with my body being like oh, like that hurt my feelings. Maybe I'll check in with my friend to see if that's what was intended or not. It's never the way that was intended. I'm always oh hey, we're all going, would you like to come? Type of thing. There's always the implicit invitation that the neurotypicals do and yeah, so I hope that answered your question.
Melissa:I know for me that a vital part of this whole thing is checking in with myself, which is something you mentioned, that if I did not take the time to do that, that I wouldn't know where I was in time and space mentally and physically and how my body was feeling.
Brianna:And as someone with chronic pain, I bet that's really important to know how your body is doing and feeling.
Melissa:Yeah, and this is a learned behavior.
Brianna:This is not something, but it's more important that we, as ADHDers, know how to do it because of how dysregulated we can get in an instant right. So the neurotypical people can get by in their daily lives without knowing these skills and not become dysregulated, whereas for us we are dysregulated daily and we need these skills to be regulated. So it's a struggle for everyone, but that's the why, that's the importance of it, for us.
Melissa:It's a very important skill for us to learn in order to be our best selves.
Brianna:Yeah, and you can learn it through cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based therapy, those things. They teach skills, they teach you how to do this. They're like you said with the mindful meditation. There's apps, there's a whole bunch of things where you can learn to do this behavior. And also stimulant medication if that's your jam, if that's what you're into actually helps you with emotion regulation. That's one of the things it does. It's not just helping you focus, which is actually not what it does. It helps you control your focus. It doesn't help you focus, it helps you control your emotion regulation, which is amazing. So if you're interested in going down that route with your doctor, please ask them about that. But yeah, there's lots of things you can do. We should explain what mindfulness is. So what is mindfulness? Mindfulness? Mindfulness is being fully aware and present in the moment. So it's not being pulled to the past. It's not thinking about what you're going to have for lunch. It's about what you're feeling here and now.
Brianna:Yes, and that's what we mean by checking in with your body, and that's what we mean by checking in with your body, seeing how you're feeling. It's very much like a pause where you don't have to think about all the things you have to do and all of the things that cringe, things that might have happened and whatever. It's very much like here and now.
Melissa:We're touching on this a little bit. But the other side of emotion, dysregulation, which I think when I think dysregulation, there's something negative that comes along with that word. But the other side of this is just regulation. And how do we actually achieve that? How do we regulate?
Brianna:There's actually a really interesting study that Gottman he's like a couples counselor did, where couples were getting into arguments and fights and their heart rate would rise and then the conflict would escalate and that's what they were finding. So during one of their studies they were studying conflict. They walked into the room after the heart rates rose and they're like oh sorry, can you just pause for a moment. Our equipment isn't working. We'll let you get back to it as soon as we fix our equipment. They waited for their heart rates to go down. Our equipment isn't working. We'll let you get back to it as soon as we fix our equipment. They waited for their heart rates to go down their equipment was never broken in the first place Waited for their heart rates to go back down. They said okay, you can continue now, our equipment is working again. They were like conflict de-escalated.
Melissa:They were now able to communicate with each other.
Brianna:They didn't have any more fights or arguments or whatever, because their heart rate was back in that range of tolerance.
Melissa:So just taking that pause, but in this case it was a forced pause, a forced pause.
Brianna:But if you can regulate yourself and notice when you're getting heightened and pause to bring it back to here, you're going to be so much better at problem solving, so much better at conflict resolution, so much better at communication, so much better at learning, so much better at remembering. The benefits are endless.
Melissa:I cannot even list them all. I, like most of us with ADHD, have very many hobbies and interests. I've been studying Eastern culture and philosophy since I was literally under 10 years old. I've done the eat, pray, love thing. I've lived in ashrams and I feel like I've explored a lot of facets of mindfulness or introspection. Where was I going with this?
Brianna:I would really love you to find this place, because I'm very interested.
Melissa:No, I think so often that we can be told how we're supposed to do something, like you were saying, but it's really important to find out how we regulate for ourselves and how do we check in for ourselves and what are those signs, Because the way your body signals you may not be the way mine signals mine. I do try to, at least twice a day, when I wake up and before I go to bed, I close my eyes and I do an inventory. So I start at the top of my head and I work my way down and then all the way back up to my head again and I'm like does anything hurt? Is my heart racing really fast? Is there anything going on that I haven't acknowledged before? And that takes what? 30 seconds really? That's a minute out of my day, and sometimes, if there's something wrong, I may go the step further and be curious and say, okay, well, is there anything I can do about it?
Brianna:Yeah, that curiosity, that's the next step. Right, You've checked in with your body and you're like, oh, I'm actually not feeling okay. Oh well, what do you do about it is the next step. Or I actually am feeling great. Okay, well, what has been working that you are feeling great? Making that connection to an actionable item is the next step. Yeah, I'm very curious about your time in the ashrams and things like that, in terms of because you've studied it. Right, I've studied the science side of it, but you've actually done the work. What was that like?
Melissa:Sometimes really hard. The whole morning routine at an ashram starts at like four o'clock in the morning. I don't sleep well, so getting up at four o'clock in the morning, this never worked well for my body. It was hard, but if I didn't have that experience I wouldn't have learned that my body doesn't work well in that environment. There are so many things you can take from it.
Melissa:When it came to meditation, it wasn't letting my mind be quiet. That was the attractive thing to me. Sometimes, if there was a group of people, it was the sounds they made or the energy they created. Sometimes, just being up early in the morning and around a lot of people that have a lot of good intentions brings this energy of peacefulness, and that's not something as someone with ADHD I experience a lot. My mind is often very tumultuous. We'll go with that. So it sometimes reminded me these people are around me with the intention of being mindful. It forced me to Wait. Are you saying that you body doubled calm? Yeah, oh, my god. Yes, okay, I've never realized that before, but it's really good to get an outside perspective. Yes, I do think I body doubled being calm all right, damn Damn All right.
Brianna:That's a pro tip. Go get yourself a calm friend and anytime you need to calm down, just go be their body double.
Melissa:I didn't just leave it there. I married a Buddhist. So, like I married someone who was also in that mindset and who is a neurotypical who is often calm, so apparently I was so devout to body doubling calm, I married it.
Brianna:Oh, marry a Buddhist Anyway, all right. So how can you emotionally regulate? You do not have to go book an ashram and become a Buddhist or marry a Buddhist in order to learn these skills. It might be helpful for you, but that is not the only way if that's not what you're interested in, oh, there's actually a really good emotion sensation wheel which will be linked in the show notes, because naming your emotions is sometimes really difficult for people with ADHD like feeling them, naming them, understanding them, whatever, and like where they are in the body.
Brianna:For me, that was one of the hardest things that I had to learn was like I didn't know what sadness felt. Like I knew that there were tears but I didn't know that. I felt it in my throat, I got all choked up and I didn't know that I felt anger in my face. It got all flushed and hot. And anxiety. I did know anxiety is my shoulders get tightened, my jaw tightens and my stomach hurts. So that's anxiety. So there's this way to working with your body and then relate it back to an emotion. So then you know what to do about that emotion Interesting, which is really cool. So labeling, naming, is a really good thing.
Melissa:Can I cut in and maybe give an example and ask a question at the same time? Yeah, as someone with a chronic medical condition, I have some very weird migraines and when they come on I get weird sensations in my body. My auras can be weird and I don't have one specific emotion that I can give it. I call it Bob, and if I tell my husband, hey, Bob's coming on well, then that means like my hands may be tingly and my speech may be stuttering. I guess I just wanted a little more information from you about that. What about uncommon emotions or uncommon situations in your being?
Brianna:Okay, first of all, thank you so much for bringing that up. Yes, correct, you do not have to use the stereotypical names of emotions. If you want to name your emotions Bob or Gregory or Charizard do what works for you, because if you don't know, or if you're just learning what your body symptoms are and what they mean and trying to relate them back to an emotion, then you're trying to do it the way that is supposed to Stop Stop doing that ocean. Then you're trying to do it the way that is supposed to Stop Stop doing that. Especially if you have weird things or you don't really know or whatever.
Brianna:If you know that Bob is a thing and he's coming and you can warn the people around you about Bob, that will provide you with extra support, extra care, extra patience. Maybe you can't. If you're really anxious in a heightened state and you're like, oh, gregory's coming, people will know to get your attention before talking to you or talking in a quieter voice, being like, hey, I know you're feeling Gregory is coming. What can we do to support you in this moment? What do you need from us? It doesn't have to be anger, happy, sad.
Melissa:It can be Bob happy, sad it can be. Bob, yeah, sometimes for me, if I know Bob is coming, if I say it out loud and I admit it to myself, that may be a trigger for me to know that I may need to back down. Maybe I need to de-stress, maybe I need to take some things off my plate because I'm I'm not going to be in the right place or position to handle that at this time Exactly.
Brianna:Name it out loud, because even if no one is around to help, you can help, support you. But you have to hear it, you have to actually say it out loud. It makes it real. Now you can handle it.
Brianna:Yeah so step back and name your feelings, identify bodily signs of emotions. That's the somatic piece that I'm talking about Our interoception, knowing how we're feeling in our body. That's somatic where in the body the emotions are being felt. Writing it out can be really helpful Journaling pictures, coloring, getting it out that way listening to music, playing an instrument, dancing, exercising instead of reacting. Exercise can really help people with ADHD. We know this.
Brianna:Exercise can help regulate. The thing that I find very interesting is about that heart rate thing. If you're elevating your heart rate, then you're going to stay in that heightened emotional state because your heart rate is elevated. So it's not going to help regulate you per se, but it will because exercise is really helpful and then it brings you back down slowly, rather than I'm in this state and then I'm going to drop to this state. It is the regulating feature. So it's not an immediate like I'm going to be calmer if I go for a run, like it's going to regulate you more slowly, which is still a very helpful coping strategy and technique. And I think the best part of that is the pause. So if you're in this moment of I'm in this heightened emotional state, taking that pause to go exercise and then the slower coming down is the thing that's helpful there.
Melissa:I often, if I know I have to be very mentally present for something, I will plan my workout for before I have to get ready to go, because it does help you regulate for several hours after that exercise. Yeah exactly.
Brianna:Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. In the heat of the moment, it's the pause that helps In long run. The exercising absolutely is a regulatory factor and keeps you in that window that we were talking about. And then the flip side of that, because that's like a long-term solution. The flip side of that is preparing a list of healthy coping mechanisms for, like when you're in the moment right, like if you're in that heightened state and you're like I need a solution now or something bad is going to happen. That's when, when you go to your list and I know people have talked about they're like oh, I really want to send this angry email. I'll sit for five minutes before I hit send. I'll write it all out, it's all angry, and then I'll wait and go back so that can be something on the list. It could be listening to music on the list. You can even put that little emotion sensation wheel on the list. Journaling could be on the list.
Brianna:If you prepared your list of skills, you're like I am feeling Bob, what to do when Bob comes right? Then you have your strategies pre-laid out so your executive functioning brain doesn't have to worry about what's the first step, what's the structure, what do I do now? It's ready for when you're in that I'm in crisis mode. Please help me. I don't know what to do. Or even in that I am so bored my body physically hurts. My brain is so bored. I cannot figure out how to get out of this poor state. That's this hypo regulation. It's the same thing We've been talking about this heightened but hypo. You can also have that list. I am so bored, I'm physically in pain. How do I get?
Melissa:out of this. All these things you're saying are bringing up the whole halt thing. So H-A-L-T. So there are certain things you should not do. When you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired no, like that angry email to your boss, you may want to pause, because if that anger is rising up, if you notice those feelings rising up, that's a time to step back and reevaluate and ask yourself am I hungry, am I angry, am I lonely, am I tired? Is there anything I need to do to deal with any of these situations before I make a decision that could cause a relationship riff?
Brianna:Yeah, that's exactly it the mindfulness check-in with your body. First of all, you have to notice that you're about to burst with emotion or cause a consequence. Notice that. Then the next step of checking in with yourself, after you've noticed, to try and figure out the why behind why there's the emotion dysregulation of am I hungry, am I tired, am I whatever? Then, if it's any of those things dealing with those things or if it's not any of those things, how to respond appropriately. Or if it's not any of those things, how to respond appropriately. Or if that was in fact the appropriate response. Maybe anger was the appropriate response there. Sometimes it is adaptive.
Melissa:Sometimes it is the thing that needs to be done to protect you or to get your point across, or whatever it is, but taking a step back may help you evaluate the right way to use your anger in a way that's most productive.
Brianna:Yeah, exactly, advocacy rather than violence, exactly in a way that's most productive. Yeah, exactly, advocacy rather than violence. One of my favorite things is this little raccoon meme that I often refer to, like it's on my list of pre-coping mechanisms, it's like HALT. But basically when I'm in a state and I don't know what I'm feeling and I can't get out of it, and I'm like blah, blah, blah, I don't know if I'm feeling and I can't get out of it, and I'm blah, blah, blah, blah.
Brianna:I don't know if I'm hungry, if I'm tired, because the cult is like how do you even evaluate that you're hungry or that you're tired or that whatever? Because if you're in that state and you're like I can't figure it out, I don't know what's going on, this little raccoon helps me. So when you feel like everyone hates you, sleep. When you feel like you hate everyone, eat. When you feel like you hate yourself, shower. Wow, I love this little raccoon. There's an image. We'll put it in the show notes for you guys, but that is how I notice when I am hungry, tired or other, because it's a relation to everyone.
Brianna:Hates me, I hate everyone, I hate myself, and then I know what raccoon I need to do.
Melissa:Wow, I really like that. This may be a strange question. Have you ever been angry and checked your heart rate All the time? Yeah, me too. I'm like is this just some weird ADHD thing I do or some weird like it's me thing I do? And then I'm like I'll just keep it to myself because if I share it people would think I'm weird.
Brianna:That's the thing. When I'm physically checking in with my body, I can't always tell what emotions I'm feeling or whatever, and I will check my heart rate to know how I'm feeling. Yeah, yeah, and it's a valid strategy.
Melissa:A lot of us wear smartwatches, or, yeah, I was just about to say.
Brianna:I have an app that when my heart rate gets above a thing, it literally sends me an alert to breathe, Like it says take a breath, it's an alarm on my phone.
Melissa:I love that so hard.
Brianna:Yeah, and it actually works. I will always take a pause to take a breath and it always regulates me and I'm always better able to do my tasks as a result to take a breath and it always regulates me and I'm always better able to do my tasks as a result of taking that breath.
Melissa:Can I bring up something that is just a recall from earlier. Sure, we're talking about what does mindfulness mean? And like mindfulness and meditation, and something I had a realization about recently is that there's oftentimes where my brain is going 900 miles per hour and if I take out my journal and I just do a brain dump, I realize that this is a meditation. This is a moment that I'm giving to myself, it's a moment to let my mind clear and it's a moment to get all those things down on paper so I don't forget them and I can leave the responsibility on the paper and not in my being. And yeah, I had never thought in. Journaling itself is a meditation practice.
Brianna:Absolutely. Meditation is not sitting and going. Oh, it is whatever you want it to be. And, yeah, absolutely, brain dump journal. Write it down so you don't forget, so you can regulate, so you can not have to feel everything that's going on in your brain all at one time. Right, Get it out on paper. Then you can prioritize and you can pick and choose. Then you have the ability to take a step back and do your coping skills, your tasks, your mechanisms, whatever works for you, your systems.
Brianna:Yeah, so, meditation, mindfulness, whatever it can be dancing, it can be, listening to music, it can be going for a walk, whatever it is be, dancing, it can be listening to music, it can be going for a walk, whatever it is. An act of mindfulness is so much better for me as an ADHDer. So I love to go for a walk and do a five, four, three, two, one, five things. You can see four things. You can hear, three things you can touch, two you can smell and one you can taste, taste one. When you're on a walk, maybe you don't do that, unless you're like chewing gum or something.
Melissa:I like to make those moments active mentally and so, instead of just forcing myself like what's on my skin, is the water on my skin? I will ask myself how do I feel with under the water right now? So it's asking myself a question, so it's activating that curious side of my brain going oh well, how does it feel on my skin? I don don't know. Let me check in. Yeah, ask yourself questions.
Brianna:That's a great way to do it. Thank you for yeah, because that's the other thing. People are like, oh, go for a mindfulness walk. You're like, well, how, what is a mindfulness walk? Not enough people know how important it is for ADHDers in particular to work on mindfulness and that mindfulness is not yoga or that own thing. Unless you want it to be right, it can be whatever you want, whatever works for you, but it's super important yeah, what's our next episode going to be about?
Melissa:we've been throwing out topics. You threw out like three today. Yes, I don't know what is our next topic, mel, since I'm really focused on this right now, but how about ADHD in the workplace? I love that. That was actually what my master's thesis was on. I know I'm excited to hear what you have to say. I'm going to learn from you.
Brianna:If you liked our show, please share it with a friend. We would love to get this information out there to as many ADHDers as we can, to just spread the good word yeah, join us on the next episode. We look forward to seeing you there. Bye, bye-bye.
Melissa:Thanks for joining us on this episode of Hypercast.
Brianna:If you've, enjoyed today's episode and want to stay connected. Be sure to rate and subscribe, and check out the show notes for links to our social media and websites.
Melissa:Whether you're seeking practical tips, heartfelt stories or just a sense of community, hypercast is here for you.
Brianna:Remember you're not alone in your ADHD journey. Together, we can navigate the highs and lows with courage and compassion.
Melissa:So until next time, take care, stay curious and keep embracing your unique neurodiversity. Catch you on the next episode of Hypercast.
