ADHD Unscripted: Is This Our Best Episode Yet?

Overcoming a whirlwind of technical difficulties, Melissa and Brianna dive into the complexities of living with ADHD. In this candid, unscripted episode of Hypercast, they explore how ADHD impacts sleep patterns, discuss the challenges of seasonal affective disorder, and reflect on navigating emotional regulation. From battling burnout and maintaining self-care to building positive coping mechanisms, the duo shares relatable personal stories and offers insights for thriving with ADHD.

Tune in for a mix of humor, authenticity, and meaningful reflections that remind us all: resilience is a journey best shared. #adhdpodcast #adhdtips 

🔗 Coaching Packages
Discover personalized support this season:
Coaching with Melissa: 3-for-1 Coaching Package - https://app.practice.do/me/likemind/packages/3-for-1-coaching-package

Coaching with Brianna: 3-for-1 Coaching Package - https://app.practice.do/me/understanding-adhd/packages/3-for-1-coaching-package

🔗 Stay Connected with Us!
🌐 Website: https://www.hypercastpod.com/
📺 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCsr6u7RnlnuZUYxysCe1c3w
📸 Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hypercast.podcast/
🌐 Melissa’s ADHD Services: https://www.likemindcoaching.com/
🌐 Brianna’s ADHD Services: https://www.understandingadhd.ca/

Don't forget to: 👍 Like this video if you found it helpful
💬 Comment below with your thoughts on today’s topic
🔔 Subscribe and hit the notification bell for more ADHD insights

Melissa's Contact:
Email: melissa@likemindcoaching.com
www.likemindcoaching.com

Brianna's Contact:
Email: info@understandingadhd.ca
www.understandingADHD.ca

Follow Us On Instagram

Transcript

[00:00:00] Melissa: we've had every technical difficulty today but we're not giving up as 

[00:00:03] Brianna: still trying to record the podcast 

[00:00:05] Melissa: I think the title of this episode is going to be like, Melissa and Brianna had problems. Um, I'll workshop that a bit, but anyway

[00:00:12] Brianna: Welcome

[00:00:13] Brianna: to Hypercast!

[00:00:14] Melissa: to Hypercast. 

[00:00:15] Melissa AI: It's been a rough day. It's been a rough week. I feel like I've tried to fit at least three weeks worth of work in the last four days.

[00:00:22] Melissa: And

[00:00:23] Brianna: How's your burnout doing? 

[00:00:25] Melissa: I'm

[00:00:26] Melissa AI: doing okay , 

[00:00:27] Melissa: considering.

[00:00:27] Brianna: Very impressive.

[00:00:28] Melissa: Yeah. your self care doing? 

[00:00:30] Melissa: that's pretty s But

[00:00:32] Brianna: Burnout is coming. It's coming for

[00:00:34] Melissa AI:  every time I feel like I'm right up against the line, I try really hard to do things for myself that make me back off. I'll make sure I get a really good night's sleep or eat really good food,

[00:00:45] Melissa AI: sometimes I just lay on the

[00:00:47] Melissa AI: floor because I feel like I need to be grounded.

[00:00:49] Brianna: Floor time is important. 

[00:00:51] Melissa: sometimes if I sleep too long. it's too much.

[00:00:53] Melissa: So if I sleep eight hours, that's too much for me. I feel groggy but if I sleep like six hours, I'm like, cool. 

[00:00:58] Brianna: You are a rare woman because all of those sleep numbers are based on sleep. Men, so that six to eight hours of sleep that an adult needs is an adult male. Women actually need an hour more. So it's nine to ten is the recommended for women, 

[00:01:12] Melissa: But that's not always the case there are. People in between and you clearly seem to be one of the people who sleeps less, which is really fascinating because I'm one of the people who sleeps more 

[00:01:20] Brianna: Sleep stuff is really interesting to me because like obviously the ADHD, we have delayed sleep phase disorder, like very commonly,

[00:01:28] Brianna: issues with insomnia, like falling asleep, staying asleep, waking up too early.

[00:01:32] Brianna: There's three types of insomnia, 

[00:01:34] Brianna: there's studies coming out that there are people who are like, sleep phased, they do better in the morning, and there are people who are sleep phased, and they do better in the evening.

[00:01:44] Brianna: all this stuff is super fascinating to me because society has penalized like night owls 

[00:01:49] Melissa: why is it inherently lazy to wake up at 10 and work until, eight or nine, oh, you're so amazing that you wake up at four in the morning and work out and you're in bed by six. 

[00:02:00] Melissa: My, my most productive hours, I think are between 10 PM and 2 AM. 

[00:02:04] Brianna: I'm not quite that bad. Mine are like bad. at me using the language. those are not my hours. And there's nothing wrong with those hours. It's ingrained too deeply in me. I would say five till 10 PM. It's like my hours of highest productivity.

[00:02:18] Melissa AI: I was reading something in passing and maybe I'm wrong that the time blindness has something to do with circadian rhythm 

[00:02:23] Brianna: That's really interesting. So time blindness somehow

[00:02:26] Brianna: impacts the circadian rhythm. 

[00:02:28] Brianna: I can see it because, all those melatonin

[00:02:31] Brianna: solutions and there's like sunlight alarm clocks where it slowly

[00:02:34] Brianna: wakes you up with the power of the sun, because that's what our

[00:02:36] Brianna: bodies 

[00:02:37] Brianna: adjust

[00:02:37] Brianna: to. 

[00:02:38] Brianna: our bodies adjust to the sun. That's how, the farmers did it back in the old time, like they didn't have clocks or whatever, like the sun would rise, they'd wake up, they'd work, the sun would set, they'd go to bed because they needed sunlight to work. But now with all of this electricity, and our time blindness, and having the lights on all the time, we could be actively delaying our bodies preparation to go to sleep because our bodies will not start producing melatonin until it's dark, people with the structure and routines and the awareness of time, their bodies have that habit of Oh, it's 8pm even though it's not dark yet.

[00:03:09] Brianna: It's time to start producing that. And then the lights will go off and it's reinforced. Whereas with us, we're so variable even in modern society, right? If you go out for a movie or a late night dinner, it shifts your circadian rhythm and you feel extra groggy the

[00:03:22] Melissa: Yeah.How does like daylight savings time and the winter, that whole sad thing where you're depressed because you're not getting more sun. I get so overwhelmingly like just all, that's really descriptive language there.

[00:03:35] Melissa: During the 

[00:03:35] Brianna: love it. Okay. So seasonal affective disorder is the funniest thing to me because someone literally named the disease

[00:03:43] Brianna: Sad.

[00:03:44] Brianna: Oh, you get sad in the winter. like That's so funny, but yeah, I know. Are we allowed to swear?

[00:03:48] Melissa: Why 

[00:03:49] Brianna: Okay. 

[00:03:49] Brianna: Fuck daylight savings time.

[00:03:51] Melissa: There are already time zones in the world. That's confusing enough. There's no need to switch them. 

[00:03:55] Melissa: I know for my spouse, he goes to work in the dark and then he comes home in the dark in the winter. I don't know how he is not more depressed. I, apparently I'm just carrying all the, Very vocalized depression during the winter, I just, I hate it.

[00:04:08] Melissa: the suggestion of lamps and stuff like that, 

[00:04:10] Brianna: Yeah. 

[00:04:11] Brianna: I've tried the sun lamps and they do help a little bit. Light therapy is a thing for seasonal affective disorder and it actually does help because, your body's circadian rhythm syncs to light and the natural cycles in your body we're not plants.

[00:04:23] Brianna: But we're close to plants. We don't photosynthesize, but our body does produce more, of certain chemicals, during the day versus at night, which is why people go crazy. Have you seen the polar night things? they

[00:04:33] Brianna: have a party because it's 

[00:04:34] Brianna: dark all day, for

[00:04:36] Brianna: 24 hours straight and, they don't know when to sleep and it actually creates this kind of temporary psychosis.

[00:04:41] Brianna: It's so fascinating.

[00:04:43] Brianna: So cool.

[00:04:44] Brianna: I want to go try it 

[00:04:45] Melissa: they have festivals and things, right? So it's basically that I don't know how long it lasts, a week or something like that? a week long party where no one sleeps, or if you do, you have to get blackout curtains and eye things, 

[00:04:54] Melissa: Can we talk about weather?

[00:04:55] Melissa: Weather. Talk about weather.

[00:04:56] Brianna: Okay, so where I am currently living, do you want to guess how many days of sunlight I have where I'm currently living. 

[00:05:02] Melissa: 260. 

[00:05:03] Brianna: Okay. 333

[00:05:05] Melissa: Ooh.

[00:05:07] Brianna: of sunlight out of 365. 

[00:05:09] Melissa: I don't know how I feel about that. 

[00:05:10] Brianna: 

[00:05:10] Brianna: The more sunlight people have, the less the population is depressed. For example, in the UK, where it rains all of the time, even though, it's the winter, right? But it rains. They never have sun. It's cloudy. And they're generally higher rates of depression.

[00:05:25] Brianna: The people tend to be a little bit grumpier, more closed off, whereas, Canada has this reputation for being, really friendly 

[00:05:30] Melissa: You are nicer than we are. every Canadian I've ever met is so much nicer than almost every American I've met. I don't want to call it a stereotype, but 

[00:05:36] Brianna: We'll take the stereotype. And if we're gonna relate this back to ADHD because we're still trying to record a podcast today,

[00:05:41] Melissa: 

[00:05:41] Brianna: emotion Regulation. 

[00:05:43] Brianna: emotion regulation,

[00:05:44] Melissa: how many times have I just been like, Oh, I'm totally normal, but I'm not regulated at all. Or I'm two seconds away from some big emotional shift. I don't want to say it's denial, but we're stuck in our bodies. our definition of normal is

[00:05:58] Melissa: from our perspective, we don't even know that there's anything wrong. 

[00:06:01] Brianna: yes, it can be distressing, wrong implies that there is a right way because like our emotions. are normal,

[00:06:09] Melissa: Yeah, but we can interrupt somebody else's day or plans without knowing or acknowledging it because we have not acknowledged ourselves 

[00:06:20] Brianna: So negatively impacting our daily lives. that's what makes it ADHD. That's why it's a disability. 

[00:06:26] Melissa: but we can have impact not just on ourselves, but people around us too. 

[00:06:31] Brianna: Yeah.because it sucks for us, right? 

[00:06:33] Melissa: our emotions are normal. They're just bigger, So if something makes us mad, it makes us furious. If something makes us sad, it makes us, depressed, It's just higher highs and lower lows. But It's not like we're reacting incorrectly to the stimuli. It's still the correct emotion for the stimuli, it's just bigger, but I see what you mean like, when I get sad, I shut down, I'm not functional, and if I had things to do that day, or if, my partner needed something from me, I can't accomplish that task because my body and mind and emotions are in such a heightened state, either over stimulation or under stimulation. I completely understand what you mean by, it impacting your daily life.

[00:07:13] Melissa: if I don't take the moment to pause and consider, like, when I feel off I ask myself, how is it affecting me? And how is it affecting the people I'm around?

[00:07:23] Melissa: I'm responsible for My loved ones, even if they can be responsible for themselves, but maybe even just being emotionally there for them is my responsibility.I can't be there or even be nice to them, if I'm not checking in with myself and making sure I'm okay, 

[00:07:37] Brianna: the other piece I wanted to add is how could you know in advance, we're so bad at proprioception, somatic, mindfulness, knowing what's going on in our bodies, feeling what we're feeling. Before we're feeling it and it's too deep and we're already like like how do you be prepared for it? And then the impact on yourself and other people. the four steps back plan is to find ways to be aware of your emotions, and the potential triggers or the shifts before it happens.

[00:08:06] Brianna: Because once you're in that moment, it just takes time to come out of it.

[00:08:09] Melissa: And I am convinced that once we're in the deepest part of dysregulation or overwhelm there are Signs long before we are in the midst of it. part of it is figuring out what those signs are, sometimes I'll realize I'm not breathing deeply or I'll hold my breath that may be a sign that I'm not regulating right now.

[00:08:28] Melissa: that's two or three steps before I'm in the midst of My, my head's spinning. I can't, take anymore. I'm hitting a wall. Yeah.

[00:08:35] Brianna: cycling back 

[00:08:36] Brianna: the signs and symptoms of becoming emotionally dysregulated are often associated with self care. 

[00:08:42] Brianna: The first thing that goes is the noticing. Then it's the self care. And now you're in a situation where you don't have any of your, like your structure. Like you're eating, you're sleeping, you're whatever.

[00:08:51] Brianna: So you're already at a disadvantage. And you've lost the ability to like access your coping mechanisms because you are

[00:08:57] Brianna: sleep deprived, hungry, don't have the right nutrients, haven't gone outside,

[00:09:02] Melissa: for a second? Can we stop

[00:09:03] Melissa: for a second here? Because that is important. That's like big light bulb over my head. 

[00:09:08] Brianna: Are we pausing

[00:09:08] Melissa: We're positive. Yes, we

[00:09:10] Melissa: We are taking this in because that thing you just said about when you're dysregulated that you start losing your ability to actually reach for your coping mechanisms.

[00:09:20] Melissa: That is like a big ding, 

[00:09:22] Brianna: Say

[00:09:23] Brianna: more, 

[00:09:23] Melissa: I'm, I right now I'm just really freaking overwhelmed you and I have been having this conversation, 

[00:09:27] Melissa: ADHD experts aware that these things exist, but we get stuck in this cycle of really pushing up against burnout at least, we're both talking about it. So we're recognizing that is a possibility.

[00:09:37] Brianna: the first step is recognizing that, there is stress in your life, we will default back to unhealthy coping mechanisms if that's our

[00:09:45] Brianna: default is. yeah, the way to shift and make this better and avoid some of this emotion dysregulation, avoid some of the, loss of access to coping mechanisms is to have the default, the what you rely on in the hardest times, the times of the highest stress, be a healthy coping mechanism rather than an unhealthy one.

[00:10:03] Melissa: The thing that you're hitting on here is that there are both negative and positive coping mechanisms.

[00:10:07] Melissa: And I think that is a big ding, 

[00:10:09] Brianna: Are you suggesting that we have to unlearn our unhealthy coping mechanisms 

[00:10:14] Melissa: we just were saying that like recognition is one of the first steps of anything here. 

[00:10:18] Melissa: Maybe it's recognizing that some of the things that we do over and over again, a negative coping mechanism. 

[00:10:24] Brianna: is it still serving us though? 

[00:10:25] Brianna: Exactly. So you have to, that's back to the reflection on the awareness piece of is this still serving me? Or now that I know more, can I change this? Is there something I can do?

[00:10:36] Melissa: This is really deep stuff.

[00:10:37] Brianna: It's a weird episode because we haven't explained the why yet, because we're just discovering it ourselves. 

[00:10:42] Melissa: 

[00:10:43] Brianna: Shall I summarize now to see if we can pull this together?

[00:10:46] Melissa: a mid summary. Okay. 

[00:10:48] Brianna: yeah. 

[00:10:48] Melissa: We started with what happens when we don't get enough sleep. We talked a little bit about like how ADHD can impact sleep. And then mostly just mood, weather, 

[00:10:57] Brianna: This is an ADHD conversation. Come podcast 

[00:11:00] Brianna: Yes.

[00:11:01] Brianna: That led to

[00:11:02] Brianna: something. But how that relates to and why I think it's important, what we ended up talking about, which was emotional regulation, and how to notice that, you're losing access to your coping mechanisms and that things might be progressing towards burnout, how do you even notice that, pick up on things like, I'm not sleeping enough, I'm not eating enough, I'm not getting outside enough, and how important Weather and sunshine and balance is to maintaining that emotion regulation so you don't end up in that state of like overstimulation, understimulation that leads to shutdown or burnout. And can impact your life and the people's lives around you.

[00:11:44] Melissa: burnout always I don't know, I feel like every time I hit it, it steals so much time from me.

[00:11:49] Brianna: Yeah. That's the other piece of this, which I get we

[00:11:53] Melissa: Hold on. Hold 

[00:11:53] Melissa: on. forward to say that again in two seconds. If you've stuck with this so far, I know this is like a really messy episode. We get it. We're sitting here doing it. Um, but if you want to support us, continue to make content here on YouTube, hit the like button 

[00:12:06] Melissa: and subscribe. 

[00:12:07] Brianna: 

[00:12:07] Melissa: Oh,

[00:12:08] Brianna: on YouTube only, 

[00:12:09] Melissa: 

[00:12:10] Melissa: I 

[00:12:10] Brianna: suggesting that people with ADHD tend to be more visual learners? 

[00:12:14] Melissa: some people really like the visual aspect and some people like being able to listen while they do other things. 

[00:12:20] Brianna: We were talking about emotion regulation. They were talking about.

[00:12:23] Brianna: Don't get me off track. You're trying to get me back on track by getting me off track. I want to know more about this YouTube thing So if people watch our YouTube videos. And and subscribe,

[00:12:34] Melissa: And and subscribe.

[00:12:35] Brianna: then, like, they get useful ADHD things, 

[00:12:38] Melissa: and then more people will get to listen to us.

[00:12:41] Melissa: Yeah.the YouTube algorithm, the more people who like us and subscribe to us, the more people they spread our stuff to and they get the opportunity to join in, listen, and maybe, maybe become part of our community. 

[00:12:53] Brianna: subscribe to help us help you. And to help us help others. 

[00:12:57] Melissa: Yes. 

[00:12:58] Brianna: I'm back on board now. 

[00:12:59] Melissa: So we were talking about emotion regulation, and 

[00:13:04] Melissa: I was like, put a pin in that, say that again. 

[00:13:06] Brianna: I don't know why you thought a pin would work. 

[00:13:09] Melissa: we are proving right now that we have ADHD. 

[00:13:12] Brianna: think that was pretty evident from the first episode. 

[00:13:15] Brianna: This is May, maybe a DHD skill regression. That's a separate episode for sure,

[00:13:21] Melissa: I have a feeling I could polish this turd. I don't know about you, I'm in this zone of I feel like I can polish any turd.

[00:13:26] Melissa: part of me wants to think I'm delusional, but then the other part of me is no, just flow with it. I have a ton of goals, but what if I only reach half of them? I've reached something if I've only reached half of them. 

[00:13:37] Brianna: I love this attitude. This is like reframing to the max. Do you mind if I get on my soapbox for one minute? 

[00:13:44] Melissa: I may edit your soapbox, but I love your soapbox.

[00:13:46] Brianna: Okay. The thing that I am trying to do with all of this is demonstrate to people with a DHD. That they're not broken and that they're not wrong. And to do that is just a lot of reframing. So anytime we're able to reframe something. 

[00:14:03] Brianna: Specifically you said, Oh, I can only get half the things done. I got half the things done. like the positive mindset and what was it? The secret was a thing for a bit. It's a little wishy woo but like neuroplasticity wise, in the brain, if you practice positive thoughts, those are the channels that become default in your brain.

[00:14:23] Brianna: As we were talking about earlier, it all connects. if you have that positive mindset of I got half the stuff done. That's amazing. Versus, oh my God, I only got half the stuff done. Your brain will default to whatever one is practiced. That's why practice makes

[00:14:36] Brianna: perfect. So if you practice, I got stuff done.

[00:14:38] Brianna: I'm amazing. I got half the things done. Your brain is going to default that direction. And that's what I want to bring to the ADHD community of I'm not broken. My way of doing things isn't wrong. Feel a sense of pride in their accomplishments and

[00:14:50] Brianna: not just default to the negative because you've heard me say this a bunch.

[00:14:53] Brianna: Like our brains have an even higher tendency than the neurotypicals to default to the negative as a coping mechanism. We're back. It's all circle. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism. It keeps us safe. It prevents us from making mistakes. It's like a danger safety thing. It works, but it doesn't make us happy.

[00:15:10] Brianna: And keep us motivated to keep 

[00:15:12] Melissa: And 

[00:15:12] Melissa: The opposite mentality of the thing I just said is me saying I only got half of the things on my to do list done. I'm a failure, right? I need to just stop.

[00:15:21] Brianna: it doesn't make you feel motivated to do the rest of your to do list, right?

[00:15:25] Brianna: You need that, dopamine, that sense of reward, that sense of accomplishment that the neurotypicals get for free, we have to work on it, so important. And it helps with emotion regulation.

[00:15:34] Brianna: Ugh, it's all full circle. 

[00:15:36] Melissa: have a feeling this is going to be one of our best episodes 

[00:15:38] Brianna: we are showing some authentic parts of ourselves. The people,

[00:15:41] Brianna: they love authenticity.

[00:15:43] Melissa: freaking love authenticity. 

[00:15:46] Brianna: I get very upset when people are not true to themselves. I think it's a part of ADHD justice or something like we just like neurodivergent people, autistic individuals. We have this ability, like bullshit meters. Like we just know when someone is not being truthful. it actually really frustrates me because I'm like, what are you trying to hide? 

[00:16:09] Brianna: Honestly, that's also one of the first stages of embracing your ADHD is digging down and just letting yourself be authentic. Because if you're holding everything in, if you've tightened that box, you've put like a whole roll of tape on it. It's stifling yeah, 

[00:16:25] Brianna: say it's like the first step of unmasking, like being authentic, 

[00:16:29] Melissa: The thing is that it's hard to unmask when your whole life you've been masking. And how do you be authentic when you don't know who you are Authentically?  

[00:16:39] Melissa: Ooh,

[00:16:40] Brianna: It is such a hard hitting feeling of I don't know what I genuinely enjoy because my whole life I've been doing activities to please other people. Or I don't know who genuinely I am, what my values are because my values have been dictated by other people.

[00:16:56] Brianna: And I was trying to chameleon, to mask, to blend in, to be safe, to be accepted by the community until I realized I was part of an ADHD community and I didn't have to do that anymore. But now I don't know who I am because my whole life has been. lived for other people.

[00:17:09] Melissa: can I take this one? 

[00:17:10] Brianna: I'm asking the question, do you have the answer?

[00:17:12] Melissa: I don't know if I have the answer. I have an answer. As someone who has gone through some trauma and had to find their way out of that trauma and been in that exact place you're talking about, which is, I don't know where someone else starts, where I begin and who I truly am.

[00:17:29] Melissa: The answer is it took therapy for me. It took a lot of Digging down on the self, separating myself from the trauma, separating myself from codependent relationships. but also, my own, journey of self discovery and.

[00:17:42] Melissa: Meditating on who I am it took years, but I am so much better off because of it. I don't, that answers your question. 

[00:17:49] Brianna: I love the answer to that question, and if you are seeking this therapy, you should come see me because I actually understand ADHD and use ADHD affirming techniques, 

[00:17:58] Brianna: I genuinely believe that therapy, coaching, what, okay, say your statistic on the coaching thing because that also goes here. 

[00:18:05] Melissa: Oh, the attitude magazine thing.

[00:18:07] Brianna: while Melissa is pulling this up, we would love to help you, the thing is, these tools exist, and finding the right tools, the right people to help you is really important, because if

[00:18:17] Brianna: you go to just 

[00:18:18] Brianna: anyone, they're not going to be able to

[00:18:20] Brianna: understand where you're coming from. 

[00:18:21] Melissa: according to a recent survey done by Attitude Magazine with over 11, 000 adults and caregivers, ADHD coaching is the second. most recommended approach for managing ADHD symptoms among adults with ADHD. However, only 17 percent So 17 percent of the 11, 000 people in this survey have actually done ADHD coaching, though, It's the second most recommended thing to help treat your ADHD.

[00:18:48] Melissa: What is that?

[00:18:49] Brianna: It's all connected. I'm going to connect all the dots if you are struggling with emotion regulation, because you are overstimulated, understimulated, losing access to your coping mechanisms, not taking care of yourself, sleep, food, exercise, sunshine, community, like connection to people and You have these tools available to you, but you're not using them. you have the potential to unmask and to be authentic and to be your true self, to learn, to emotionally regulate, to learn to default to these positive coping mechanisms. Why would you not reach out for the support to do that, to live a better life, to be happier, to be more 

[00:19:24] Melissa: Yeah. And to help you do that, one thing that Brianna and I are doing is that we are now both offering something that's called a transitional coaching package.. for a limited time, we'll each be offering coaching packages. 

[00:19:36] Melissa: I will leave links in the description below. 

[00:19:39] Brianna: you can actually take advantage of some of the things we've been talking about, develop some of the skills.

[00:19:45] Brianna: I genuinely believe in therapy,

[00:19:47] Brianna: in coaching, in ADHD beyond just a diagnosis, there are tools and resources available,

[00:19:55] Brianna: and that's why we've both dedicated our Lives, careers, to, to helping, to gaining this knowledge to be a support system for community.

[00:20:05] Melissa: we're doing our best to bring what knowledge we can to you, 

[00:20:08] Brianna: I summarized one direction, shall I summarize the other direction? 

[00:20:11] Brianna: The discussion of coping mechanisms, the discussion around, how to, live your best life, 

[00:20:17] Brianna: if that's the topic, why is that important? Why is understanding your ADHD triggers and developing healthy coping mechanisms important? 

[00:20:27] Melissa: That is part of the key of living healthier ADHD existence. yeah,

[00:20:31] Brianna: a goal for everyone. everyone wants to have a good quality of life, be happy, be successful, how does that apply to ADHD specifically? 

[00:20:38] Melissa: part of this is recognition. Part of it is recognizing in ourselves that we may have beliefs or negative coping mechanisms that are not serving us anymore. at least for me, this is what I'm getting out of it.

[00:20:52] Melissa: I feel like I need to examine what am I doing? That's not helping me. That's actually maybe hurting me. And through that recognition. Maybe a slightly healthier life. 

[00:21:02] Brianna: It's important for everyone everyone strives to have quality of life, happiness, health, success. But specifically for ADHD, it tends to be a little bit harder to achieve those things because we've been told so many times, we're broken, or we can't succeed, 

[00:21:17] Brianna: That type of thing. And it feels harder to grasp that kind of happiness. Cause when you get it, it disappears again. then you get it back again and you work really hard to get it. And then it disappears again. So the stability of it is really hard to maintain. the specific conversation around ADHD is like, this is a goal that most people want. And then maintaining it is harder for ADHD. So having that conversation around what is going on in the brain.

[00:21:41] Melissa: the one thing we mentioned about the positivity, because if we keep trying to reach a goalpost and we just almost get there and then. I'm not going to say for everyone, but for a lot of us, the word that comes up here is failure. If we're failing, that's just going to reinforce all those negative things in our head that we tell ourselves,

[00:22:01] Brianna: it reinforces the negative things. It can cause emotion dysregulation because you're feeling like a failure and the rejection sensitivity and it sends you in a tailspin. Then you lose your coping mechanisms and your access to your coping mechanisms. you resort back to your default ones, which you have to unlearn if they're negative and replace with positive ones.

[00:22:21] Brianna: we've had a whole conversation about how do this first before explaining the why.

[00:22:27] Melissa: for me, what I'm going to be taking with me today from this conversation, like I said, Examining my life, finding those things that aren't serving me anymore, but also honoring myself and giving myself a pat on the back for remaining positive, even when things are really intense. I think it is that positivity that is helping me sustain, even when things have been really stressful

[00:22:50] Brianna: And that is a neuroplasticity reframe. If you can do that in your brain, that will become the default. Recognizing Adjusting, reframing, and changing your default so this becomes a pattern that is more easily sustainable to help you achieve your goals.

[00:23:07] Melissa: that pattern takes practice.

[00:23:09] Brianna: Practice makes perfect.

[00:23:10] Brianna: Practice positive thinking

[00:23:11] Melissa: practice recognizing if you do have negative thoughts, use that pause. Are those thoughts negative? can you switch it up?

[00:23:18] Melissa: Can you shift and say how is this positive? 

[00:23:22] Melissa: it may seem really foreign at first, 

[00:23:23] Brianna: if you're struggling with it, you can even start with neutral. That's another,

[00:23:27] Brianna: Pro tip.

[00:23:27] Brianna: If you can't switch all the way to positive, neutral is a good one. Also, ominous positivity, which I find really fun. So something like, I will succeed at this or else, 

[00:23:38] Brianna: of course you will succeed.

[00:23:40] Brianna: The gods demand it, 

[00:23:41] Melissa: I'm putting, of course you will succeed, the gods demand it, on my mirror in the bathroom. 

[00:23:46] Brianna: yeah,So if you can't just switch to I'm amazing. I'm so good. Everything in my life is going great. Cause that's hard. That that switch is hard. Go to neutral. I did stuff today. There is no, I did good. I did bad. I did stuff today. Neutral. 

[00:24:00] Melissa: be afraid to like physically pat yourself on the back. I'm not lying there's the whole thing, like the power pose where you stand like Superman 

[00:24:08] Brianna: Yeah. 

[00:24:09] Brianna: Power pose. 

[00:24:10] Melissa: Whatever mechanism, and maybe it's a fun game, 

[00:24:13] Brianna: Do you want to know a thing?

[00:24:14] Melissa: okay, 

[00:24:14] Brianna: your brain cannot tell the difference between a fake laugh and a real laugh. if you start like, ha, and engage your diaphragm, your brain will eventually think you're laughing and switch over to a real laugh, the game I like to play is how many ha's I can get in a row before I break down giggling, it is the fastest way to use neuroplasticity to change your mood. Yeah, 

[00:24:36] Melissa: you pair that with music and make it even more 

[00:24:38] Brianna: the whole fake it till you make it

[00:24:39] Melissa: yes. 

[00:24:40] Brianna: really real. If you fake a smile, eventually it will become real. 

[00:24:44] Melissa: Maybe pair that with something that's a fun thought, but, 

[00:24:46] Melissa AI: even evil thoughts! Evil thoughts are great. 

[00:24:49] Melissa: you just made my brain go into villain mode. Thanks, Brianna. 

[00:24:51] Brianna: This is a goal that is important for ADHD years. what are the tips, right? the tips are fake it till you make it, use neuroplasticity, because it works. recognize and notice when things are starting to get a little bit harder and that will take practice then put your own safety mask on first.

[00:25:10] Brianna: take care of your body, sleep, food. We nailed it. We have tips. We have actionable things at the end this.

[00:25:17] Melissa: I think that's a wrap Did you have fun? That was actually weirdly fun. 

[00:25:20] Brianna: I really enjoyed this episode. I'm so glad that we did something unscripted today because I think we both needed a little bit of fun 

[00:25:27] Melissa: you're right. We both needed some fun. 

[00:25:28] Brianna: subscribe on YouTube. We are both ADHD coaches 

[00:25:31] Brianna: as we've learned, it's an underutilized tool, so give it a try. 

[00:25:34] Melissa: be part of the minority of people that think this tool works well for them, 

[00:25:39] Melissa: but 

[00:25:40] Melissa: are you telling people to be the 1%?Or this case, the 17%. 

[00:25:44] Melissa: you can find us at hypercastpod. com. You can find me at likemindcoaching. com and Brianna,

[00:25:51] Brianna: you can find me at understandingadhd. ca.

[00:25:55] Melissa: Thanks for tuning in. Bye. 

[00:25:57] Brianna: Bye