ADHD Therapy That Actually Works For Your Brain

Ever been in therapy and wondered, “Is this actually helping?”
This episode breaks down what ADHD-informed/  Neuro-affirming therapy is supposed to look like—and why so many ADHDers feel stuck or blamed instead.

If therapy hasn’t helped your ADHD the way you hoped, it might not be you—it might be a mismatch. In this episode, therapist Justin Lamb explains what ADHD-informed and neuro-affirming therapy actually looks like, how to tell if it’s working, and when it’s okay to question or change therapists. You’ll walk away with clearer expectations, red and green flags to watch for, and language to advocate for what your brain actually needs.


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HOST LINKS
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For Melissa:
🎙 Download Melissa’s Burnout Reset Guide — a 5-step toolkit for ADHD burnout recovery
https://www.likemindcoaching.com/free-download
For Brianna:
🎙 Learn more about Brianna’s work at
https://understandingadhd.ca/

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DETAILED TIMESTAMPS (KEY MOMENTS / CHAPTERS)
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1:00 Intro — Why ADHD therapy often doesn’t work
3:50 How ADHD diagnosis changed Justin’s life
5:00 What ADHD-informed/  Neuro-affirming therapy should actually look like
9:45 “Doing the work” — what that really means
14:30 Therapist fit: why connection matters more than credentials
17:30 Green flags and red flags in ADHD therapy
25:30 Therapy as maintenance vs crisis support
29:45 The one question that changes how you experience therapy


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ABOUT THE GUEST
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Who is Justin Lamb, LLPC?
Justin Lamb is a licensed therapist who works with adults navigating life transitions and ADHD. He brings both professional training and lived experience to his work, helping clients understand how their brains function and how therapy can actually support that.
Where to find Justin Lamb:
http://www.justinlamblpc.com

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🎙 MEET YOUR HYPERCAST HOSTS
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🔹 Melissa Llewellyn Snider — ADHD Coach, Educator & EP of Hypercast
Melissa helps overwhelmed adults with ADHD build systems for life and work that actually work for them.
📍 https://likemindcoaching.com/
🔹 Brianna Morton — ADHD Coach, Educator & Therapist
Brianna blends ADHD education with mental health support and practical tools for everyday life.
📍 https://understandingadhd.ca/

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LISTEN & CONNECT
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🎧 Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3MulbTZUpGtJtYPgiogGQd?si=YdXDIqUJTpWJ68kEaJFHIg
🍎 Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hypercast-an-adhd-podcast/id1745350643
🌍 Website:
https://www.hypercastpod.com/
📸 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/hypercast.podcast/

 📺 YouTube:
https://youtu.be/woFFLChKHH0

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Disclaimer:
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding medication or treatment decisions.
Affiliate Disclosure:
From time to time, we may share affiliate links. If you choose to use them, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Melissa's Contact:
Email: melissa@likemindcoaching.com
www.likemindcoaching.com

Brianna's Contact:
Email: info@understandingadhd.ca
www.understandingADHD.ca

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Transcript

Hypercast ADHD Therapy That Actually Works Justin Lamb

[00:00:00] 

Justin: If you've ever been in therapy and thought, is this actually helping? Or you don't know what therapy is supposed to look like for your ADHD brain. Today we're talking with therapist Justin Lamb about what therapy looks like when it's actually working for an ADHDer

Melissa: Welcome to Hyper Cast. I'm Melissa Lewellen Snyder, an ADHD Coach and educator.

Brianna: I am Brianna. I'm a neuro affirming therapist and ADHD coach.

Melissa: Justin works with adults navigating life transitions, and with a ADHDers who want to better understand how their brains work. 

Welcome, Justin. We're so happy to have you. 

Justin: Hi.

Um, to start things off, what drew you to your work? 

Melissa: I was starting a podcast and Um, the podcast, I was interviewing people long form interviews like hour, hour and a half long, and. And I realized about like six months into doing that show that I was like, oh, I'm kind of like doing therapy with these people and we're talking about trauma and anxiety and everything. And I was like, oh, I could do that for a career. And even at that point I looked at like, what kind of associate's degree can I get where I can do [00:01:00] something in that field? And then. I finally like, decided to believe in myself 

Wow. 

Justin: finished my bachelor's and went right into the master's program and literally nonstop until I graduated and got my license, 

Melissa: Congratulations on that. 

Justin: how did ADHD like play into that? Like that whole, like that you become a therapist. 

um.

Brianna: You mean all that self doubt and then channeled into hyper focus that.

Justin: I am like a seemingly growing population. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 38. I'm currently 42. I, there's part of me that like holds a grudge towards my first therapist who I saw for like on and off for seven, eight years. um. It was never brought to my attention.

And I was a textbook, ADHD kid,

then I had a, I saw a therapist for EMDR she's like, Hey, can I ask you, has anyone ever Thought you were ADHD and I was like, no. It's like never come [00:02:00] up. like, all right, well I think you might be, and you don't have to do anything with that if you don't want to. But just like, just so you know, and of course that like stuck in my brain. 

Melissa: Um. 

Justin: then I, I'm a big like get the diagnosis person, 

Brianna: Yep.

Justin: And I was thankful to have, uh, somebody that worked in the same office as my therapist take my insurance and so I got the diagnosis and got on medication. 'cause I wanted to try medication. That was my biggest thing. I was like, I wanna see if there's any difference. 'cause I, like I said, I started all this in my late thirties, so like, I had a sketchy beginning. Um, so like, like stimulant medication.

I was like, tell me more. Um, and it completely. Changed my life. 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: it's been set on your podcast. It's been set on conferences, and it should be set everywhere else. Like the DSM diagnosis is for little white boys. And so [00:03:00] you. Don't ever hear about all the internalized symptoms. And I relate more to like, if you're comparing stereotypes side by side, men and women, um, men external and women internal. Like, I internalize things much more than your average guy. So I related to like all those and I was like, oh my God. And like rejection, sensitivity. And I was like, oh, this is every argument in my relationship. Like this is, so it was. Like exploded my brain, but then the medication,

Melissa: I've been playing music my entire life and anytime I collaborate with people. Like, if you're covering a song, someone's always like, oh, you hear like what the guitars do in there. And it's always been very difficult for me to pull out a single 

Hmm. 

Justin: from like a mix of a song. And for some reason with this song, I could, I could pick out, I was like, yeah, that's the bass.

Okay, what's this? And then the second guitar's doing this. And I could like hear them individually if I wanted to. And I was like, that's weird. [00:04:00] And then I put in something I'd heard like a billion times, like an old counting Crows album. And it was the same experience. And I was like, what? And I actually like sat in the parking lot of the dentist office and I just started crying 'cause I been like my life my entire life and I felt like I was 

Melissa: Phew. 

Justin: not to sound too dramatic way, but like hearing it for the first time, 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: like I was able to take these things.

I was like, the different things that are happening to your brain when you get to that baseline from. A medication. Like, that's why I'm like, focus, who cares? Like I focus It's called hyperfocus and 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: random things, but I can do it really well. Um, but it's all that other stuff like emotional regulation, the rejection, sensitivity, the, like, the ability to entirely present in a moment.

And I don't mean like with another person, but just like here. 

Melissa: Yeah. Yeah. 

Justin: just being present and not [00:05:00] just somewhere else, all the time. And that was life changing. 

Brianna: Yeah, I think that's a pretty good reason to be dramatic. You said not to be dramatic, and I'm like, that sounds pretty, as you said, life changing.

Justin: dramatic. Yeah, 

Melissa: I'm really curious how did, like finding out you had ADHD, like what changed?

Justin: like it gave me more empathy for other people too, that I. That have ADHD or that are neurodivergent or like understanding it more allowed me to understand it more in other people. 

 me, it helped to know where I was coming from, why things were affecting me in the way they were. to let some of that go because it's just my own shit. And also allow space for other people that are going through similar things that might not have that same like tool for regulation yet.

Melissa: I, I don't know about you guys, but I've had some, I've had some, like good therapists. I've had some shitty therapists. Um, I've had some great therapists, the [00:06:00] topic of therapy comes up on a bunch of Reddit subreddits like that I'm part of, People are like, what's therapy supposed to look like? What should I expect? that brings up the question, what does good therapy actually look like for a DH? What should it look like? 

Justin: Um, so I'm not gonna be the full authority on this 'cause your co-host is also a therapist, but, um, the does ADHD, but I will say the thing that people probably don't want to hear is like lot of it rests on you. it's 

Melissa: Interesting. 

Justin: There's people just like with medication a lot, like you hope that, oh, I'll just take this pill, everything will be better. And that's not how that works with any medication, which is and I think the same thing of like, oh, I'm just gonna go to therapy and they're gonna tell me how to fix everything. And that's also not how it works. And I think. The hardest part for [00:07:00] people starting therapy, uh, especially with ADHD, if they're in a place where, I mean, I guess in my experience, so I see a lot of men, um, 'cause people like seeks, like, right?

Brianna: Yeah.

Justin: and a lot of times if it's men and it's ADHD, there's something like keep arguing with my partner and like I know it's my ADHD and so they wanna come. See me and they hope I can give them like an app or a tool where they can go home and everything will be awesome.

 I treat like the whatever , that is individually first. Um, I think a lot of ADHD symptoms are. Present and exasperated by unprocessed trauma and other stuff that I think let's, let's go there. 

 I think people should just expect to like do the work. There's not an easy fix. There's not a one size fits all tool. There's somebody there that like has experience and can support you and [00:08:00] to you and suggest some stuff, but you're the one that has to go home. follow up on those suggestions 

 the term doing the work, I think it's easy. to like think about what that means but what does that actually look like if you're doing the work? 

Can you gimme my simplest answer? 

Melissa: Sure. 

Justin: If you only think about the stuff you talk about in therapy, while you're at therapy, you're not doing the work. 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: I think if it, if you're thinking about that stuff outside of that hour a week, that's when you're doing the work. Like when you're in an argument with your wife and while you're saying this shitty thing, you're in your head going, I shouldn't say this shitty thing. We talked about that last session. It's gonna come out anyway, and then you. Like the, that's doing the work, that awareness, raising your own self-awareness, even if it sucks to do so, which it will. Um, I think that's definition of doing the work. Brianna, what do you think?

Brianna: I take [00:09:00] a different approach to you in that when I say neuro affirming, like I will absolutely go into the trauma, into the relational piece, and I'm sensing that you're a very relational guy. Like, like how did your childhood impact you? Like, how are your current relationships impacting you and like, how can you improve your quality of life as a result of that?

I always look at how ADHD is making it tougher for you. Like what barriers it's throwing up in the way. Um, I, it's not an excuse, it's a reason, right? So there's a reason why it's tougher for you, or you struggled with this could be rejection, sensitivity, whatever. And so when I talk about doing the work, I talk about.

Like reframing negative cognitive thoughts or whatever, or like any of the like self-esteem type issues that are coming in the way like, oh, I did it again. I know we talked about it, but I'm such a terrible person. I like how could I have possibly done this? And so just nipping that in the bud is what I consider doing the work of like if all of the things, like all of the processing happens in session because you need a, a [00:10:00] body double or you need to verbally process it and you can't find a space to do that outside of therapy.

Sure. That's also doing the work. But you need to catch the thoughts and catch the problems. So I think exactly what you were saying, I just come at it from a slightly different angle.

Justin: Yeah, I, I, and to your point with ADHD, like I always, this isn't the most positive way of, but I always tell people I'm like, it sucks. Like, it's, 

Melissa: it does. 

Justin: uh. Most people show up in this office and they to figure out how to make their brain like everyone else's brain. I'm like, that's not how it works.

Brianna: Yeah, fix me. I'm broken. I need your solutions, and that's not ever gonna work for you, anyone

Justin: learn

Brianna: I.

Justin: be more compassionate towards the brain you have and like that like you're gonna do some stuff differently than other people, and like that's totally fine. And that might involve some, you know, discussions with friends and partners about expectations and, [00:11:00] uh, anytime it veers into the area of excuse instead of explanation, that's where I

Brianna: Yeah,

Justin: of go on the attack mode

Brianna: but that's also work. Like having that conversation, like communication is one of the like ways to do work. Like it's a tool.

Justin: huge.

 I think both of you have been to therapy. I've been to therapy. Um, have you ever felt like there was something specific that worked really well for you?

I mean, I think. Yes, but also just the same thing that the research will tell you, which is that connection you have with the therapist is the most impactful

Brianna: Yeah.

Justin: of the whole thing. Um, and that's like, to your point earlier you mentioned having different therapists and like I I tried out two or three this past year that mesh with me.

'cause 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: specifically for me, I don't like when you self-disclose. Much at all. 

Melissa: [00:12:00] Yeah. 

Justin: find somebody you click with. 'cause if you don't like, chances are

Brianna: Yeah.

Justin: great for you.

Brianna: And here's something actionable is like, I didn't know this, that you're allowed to quit your therapist. You don't just have to go to one.

Justin: Yeah.

Brianna: I know with like copays and different things, 

Melissa: even when you have insurance, if you've got a list from your insurance company, you can interview 

Brianna: Yes, 

Melissa: That's 

Brianna: we love it.

Melissa: don't give themselves, uh, you know, the opportunity to do or the permission to do that. 

Brianna: Yeah. A lot of us therapists actually have like consultation calls. Like you can vibe check your therapist.

Justin: today.

Brianna: Yeah, 

Melissa: oh. 

Brianna: you can vibe check your therapist. And it's amazing like. Justin, you and I both work with ADHDers, but we are very different in that you really don't like that self-disclosure piece, whereas I believe that that is an important part of my work and that I validate like someone's experience.

So I am the first step of normalizing an experience. But for you, you do that in a different way other than [00:13:00] self-disclosure, and I think that's fine. It's just what you like.

Justin: It depends,

Brianna: Mm-hmm.

Justin: like I said, I started this late, I have a whole history before. Um, which, has served me well in this space because 

 that comes up

Brianna: Yeah.

Justin: of understanding with clients 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: like, oh yeah, this one time when I was like, you know, 

Melissa: 

So I'm curious about effective therapy. Because we're talking about effectiveness and Justin, you, effectiveness really is coming down to whether or not you're doing the work or not. 

Justin: Yeah, and I'll amend that slightly because I think having a therapist that understands, um, especially if they, if they have ADHD, but um, that understands it at that level and not at the textbook level 'cause. I imagine I am able to catch a lot of things that are actually like rejection sensitivity, showing up other [00:14:00] therapists are gonna label it as anxiety or something else, 

Melissa: when you have somebody that has that, that can. Call that stuff out and help you as the client to call that stuff out in your day-to-day life. And that's like the work I'm talking 

Justin: about is 

Melissa: Hmm. 

Justin: of oh, I'm noticing I'm having a big reaction, instead of like leaning into it and letting emotions take the wheel.

Let me like outside myself for a second, be like, why am I feeling this way? Oh, it's, is 'cause My shirt was tightened. It was too hot in here, and now I'm feeling completely like, like I'm gonna explode. And it was my sensory and all this ADHD stuff that otherwise you'd be like, oh yeah, I got real pissed the other day.

And it's like, why? I don't even know. It's like, 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Justin: my job is to like help you to see what those things are so you can identify them. 

Melissa: so there's value in the therapist being ADHD informed another term that Brianna is fond of using is neuro affirming. 

Brianna: Neuro [00:15:00] affirming therapy just puts that at the forefront of understanding who you are as a person and why you might be.

Acting the way that you're acting and why you might be thinking certain thoughts. Um, and instead of, as you were saying, Justin, instead of pathologizing them or saying, this is anxiety, this is depression, this is bipolar, this is whatever, this is just who you are. Yes, it's ADHD, whatever, but how do we move through life with this rather than against it?

Melissa: As the client, what are green flags? That therapy is actually working for us. 

Justin: Do you feel better? 

Melissa: Well, yeah, that's obvious. 

Justin: I think, uh, I do this with clients a lot where. I ask them to reflect on who they were when they came in, and 

Melissa: Hmm. 

Justin: was three months ago, or six months ago, or a year ago. Because I think change often happens so gradual you don't really recognize it day to day or week to week. But when you look at who you were six months ago, you can go, [00:16:00] oh yeah, shit. Like I haven't exploded for no reason on my partner. like 

Melissa: Hmm. 

Justin: months. That's crazy. And like, why am I feeling so much more regulated and how, oh, I know I've been communicating more, 

Melissa: and I think it does take time to your point on like quitting your therapist. Again, big fan Um, but also you have to like, give it a chance.

Brianna: Yes.

Justin: what does give it a. chance mean? Um, because some of us may take that literally, is that like two sessions? 

Ooh, do I wanna put a number on it? Brianna, do you wanna put a number on 

Brianna: I mean, I will put a number on it, but tentatively I say three.

Melissa: Mm-hmm. 

Brianna: As a chance. Um, and then you reflect on, like you can have that reflection with your therapist or on your own. Um, but with the caveat that like 

 if you're really not feeling the vibe from the first 15 minutes, you're like, I'd rather shop around, see someone else, absolutely valid. [00:17:00] But if you decided to go forward with them. You can't just end at the first session, even session two, because the first session is you're just getting to know each other.

It's gonna be uncomfortable. You haven't really gotten anywhere like deep at all. Session two, you've started to unpack some things. Session three, you've actually gotten to the root of something, or you've uncovered something and then you're like, oh, has this been helpful? Is this something I want moving forward?

And that's the time that you can reflect in my opinion.

Melissa: Are there red flags? What's good, what's bad? How do you know when it's bad? 

Justin: I mean, do you feel different because sometimes it's not even bad therapy, it's just a bad connection 

Melissa: I mean, I'm sure there, there are gross red flags

Brianna: like the biggest red flag is don't have sex with your clients. So if there's any kind of like, right,

Justin: Yeah.

Brianna: but like red flags. 

Justin: is flirtatious, there might be

Brianna: Right.

Justin: there.

Brianna: Like other red flags could be like, they, like there were microaggressions in session. Like they said something about your [00:18:00] race or your religion or your like, like or your ADHD If a therapist is coming in and be like, Ugh, I see you're lazy.

You didn't do the homework. I provided you like immediate red flag. Right.

Justin: I think a green flag is also humility, like if there's any sign of humility whatsoever. I love admitting I'm wrong in a session or that I screwed up. Um, 'cause it, it opens the door to be like, see, we can do this, we can, can be wrong, we can be flawed.

Brianna: Yeah, that's a huge one. Especially if you are connecting with someone who isn't like exactly you, who's had your exact life, your exact trauma, your exact, which you're never gonna find. But if they can come in and be like, I don't know anything about your life, I'm here to learn. Ask questions like you are the expert in you.

I have degrees and knowledge on whatever topic that I can provide to you. But again, it's you doing the work. It's you telling your story. It's us sitting here and being relational, and that's another green flag. I think

Melissa: I think an important thing that about what you just said is that [00:19:00] just because someone has degrees on the wall doesn't mean that they're an expert in you. So when they reflect back to you and it doesn't match what is happening inside of you, you're allowed to push back. You're allowed to say, no, that's not how it is. 

Brianna: I prefer clients like that, honestly.

Justin: Yeah. 

Melissa: 

Justin: I, always say

Brianna: Um.

Justin: you're the expert of you, and you create the space where they feel comfortable enough 

Melissa: I, I remember being younger and like, feeling like, well, this person must know more than I do because they have a degree in it. And so they'll understand what's happening in me more than I do, and. That's hard. Um, because I think it'd be very easy in a place that should be a place of trust take agency away from the client. 

Justin: Oh yeah. There's a power dynamic, whether you acknowledge it or not, and it's the responsibility of the therapist to, you know, level that playing field in that way while also, you know, ethical standards can I quote Ben folds real quick, 

Melissa: Yes, please. 

Justin: that'sYou get older [00:20:00] and the world gets big, the more you know, you know, you don't know shit. And I think that's, if you can be comfortable and admit that to yourself, 

paper degrees don't mean anything. I learned that after getting five of them. 

Melissa: Um, So talking about like just where the client is, where they should be, what about needs? Um, how does a client like understand their needs and therapy and be confident in that?

Justin: Can I ask you a question as a question or an answer to that question? 

Melissa: Oh, you're such a podcaster. Sure. 

Justin: do you know what you need?

Melissa: I feel like there's been ti like a time and place where I wasn't confident in myself. And that's a really hard place to be, but you know, you need? help. So, but I think knowing what your needs are is important so you can advocate For yourself. 

Justin: Yeah. I. I think you as the individual know what your needs are, whether consciously or unconsciously, you know your needs more 

Melissa: Okay. 

Justin: else. [00:21:00] The therapist role in that be to help you identify what those are. I think as far as red flags and green flags, I think it would be a red flag if you went to a therapist and they're like, you need to do this, you need this, you need this.

You're like, what? What? Um, because I think you. you know what you need. And it's not always easy to admit it and it's not always easy to it, like even acknowledge it. And that's where therapy comes in. But I think you know what you need as a person individually. 

Melissa: Any thoughts, Brianna? 

Brianna: I wanna take this in a different direction.

Melissa: Hmm. 

Brianna: In that I, I don't necessarily agree with the, you know, what you need, but I agree with the, you know, you need something. So if you don't have the vocabulary for validation or love, you know that you need help, you know that you need support, you know that you need [00:22:00] something.

Um, and maybe that's the time to go to therapy just to figure out what the something is. But I also believe that therapy should be. As regular as like a doctor's or a dentist checkup, like I think that everyone's brain in the current day and age with social media and everything happening in the world and our access to the global, like not global knowledge about what's happening everywhere is there's no person who isn't impacted negatively by something in their lives in some way.

And so a checkup to figure out if you need something or if you're actually good. Or maybe you're struggling with something and you're like, I don't really know if I am ready for help yet. You can figure that out in therapy or you can figure it out before you go to therapy and you're like, okay, now I'm ready.

I know what I need and I'm ready to go. Or you need some help figuring it out. I think therapy, like you were saying, it's like you can't answer this question because it is so vague. It's because every person's needs are different and when they need to go to therapy is [00:23:00] individual.

Melissa: I don't think you're wrong in saying that, you know you need something, I, 

Brianna: I I feel like internally something triggers, because that's the way that our bodies work is like Maybe there's some kind of internal awareness. 

Melissa: I know I've mentioned it here before, But my psychiatrist, she has a check-in question that I love, do you feel like you're drowning? And if the answer is yes, then, then you need a life support. Um, you, you, you need someone to throw you a buoy and give you, give you a hand. 

Brianna: But wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to get to that point first? Like if you didn't need the like life buoy so.

Melissa: I personally am, I'm in maintenance therapy, 

 I have a, a, a therapy session scheduled with my therapist to make sure I don't forget that they exist and that time exists because I will, and, and when the big things come up, I already have someone connected to that I can make appointments with.

And I think it's important for me to have that kind of relationship. 

Justin: Yeah. 

Melissa: will come up. 

Justin: Yeah. Amen. Everybody.

Brianna: That's another good point though, [00:24:00] is like you should have someone in your back pocket before it becomes a crisis, because once you're in crisis, it is so hard to reach out for help. And so even if that point, you know you need it. Now you can't access it because you're either too depressed or something's going on, or you, you can't have, you don't have the executive function to, to begin that process because it is kind of tedious to go through the interview process.

And if you're in crisis and you need someone now, you can't make the informed decisions of is this the right person? 

Melissa: Exactly. 

Brianna: you start to feel stuck because Right, you've, you've set yourself up.

Melissa: it's so hard to regulate when you are in crisis.

Justin: Do either of you ever get pushback from clients, not ready or willing to to go deeper? 

Yeah, I

Brianna: Yeah.

Justin: I have, uh, this thing, my supervisor drew out this four layered thing and on the top is fluff, then below that is content. And below that is feeling and below that as meaning. 

but [00:25:00] you know, fluff is. How's the weather content is like the clouds are over there, the sun is shining there, the temperature is 68 degrees. And then the feeling of like, I'm feeling happy and the meaning of like, 'cause I'm remembering like when I was a kid andI'm a very here and now person, 

Melissa: Mm-hmm. 

Justin: I'd be like, you know, like, Hey Melissa, I notice, you know, we keep around that fluff content level and it's hard sometimes to just pull you down to feeling, let alone meaning, and I wonder why you struggle so much to like. Get a little deeper, and if that's reflective of those relationships you're trying to start. Because sometimes that deeper level is what creates vulnerability and closer connections and blah, blah, blah. And I've had that conversation with so many people.

Brianna: I will say that the best sessions are when clients come ready to go deeper or they're willing to go deeper and need your, need you to hold their hand to go down there [00:26:00] or whatever it is that they need. But I also hold space for clients who are like surface level. Maybe they're in survival mode, maybe something happened and all we can get to is, you know, like functionality pieces or like, I haven't showered or I haven't eaten, and like that's where you're at.

Sometimes for a ADHDers, like that's where you're gonna get to in a day, and that's what they need in a day, and that's like. Personal story, like that's where I found some therapists that I've had, have been kind of flawed is 'cause they're always pushing that deeper. And I'm like, normally I'm a hundred percent there.

I love going deeper. I wanna figure out the meaning of the why and the deep. And some days I am so scatterbrained and struggling or my meds aren't working, or I'm on my period or something's going on and I just need someone to help me figure out how to survive. And then next week I can go deeper and I feel like.

That's maybe another green flag. Justin, I'd love to hear your opinion of that, but just like, is it even worth your time to go to a therapy session where you're just in survival mode or should [00:27:00] you just cancel it? Like what do you do?

Justin: Yeah. So I will say, and I think you might feel this too, but like I think we definitely function differently. You and me,

Brianna: Yeah, I think we are pretty like opposite.

Justin: It's, it's been interesting because I, we, I, I don't necessarily, I'm, I'm a pusher a lot of times of the, like, going deeper. I would never do that like early, like that is 100% relationship based. 

Melissa: Mm-hmm. 

Justin: that's session nine. Like, Hey man, I feel like you're just deflecting talking about work a lot. Like, um. not gonna do that early on. So when you're in those first two, three sessions, like, yeah, if someone's doing that, then I would struggle with that a little bit, but also like, yeah, the, the context. See, everything's so 

Melissa: And this is, maybe this is why like different, 

Justin: It's,

Melissa: different therapists may work for different people. 

Brianna: Well, I think it's so important that we have this contrasting [00:28:00] opinion piece here is because it doesn't, one therapist's way of doing things isn't necessarily right or wrong,

Justin: Yeah,

Brianna: can definitely tell the difference between a good therapist and a bad therapist. And also this is like the shop around piece.

Justin: yeah,

Brianna: Right, because maybe one method works for you really well, and another method doesn't. Maybe you want to be pushed, maybe you want to be supported. I love the people who push me, but I'm not a pusher, right? So like I'm much more of a supporter and some people really need to be pushed, and some people really need to have their hand held.

But as long as you're not doing any of the things like invalidating their experience,

Justin: hundred percent.

Brianna: invalidating who they are as a person or something that they've told you, um, judging them, right? Like there's certain like universal things that are red flags and then there's a difference of opinion, different strokes for different folks.

Justin: Yep.

Brianna: Um, but I think the main things to look for are like. Skills and pills. Right? So like we, we talked about how stimulant medication is life changing. It is [00:29:00] dramatically life changing, but it doesn't work independently and that's why you need the therapy piece.

Justin: Yep.

Brianna: But how you go about that can be different.

Melissa: So I think for one last question I wanna, I wanna get a answer from both of you. If there was one thing that you wish people with ADHD knew about therapy, what would it be? 

Justin: What is one thing we wish clients knew about therapy?

Melissa: Yeah. or one piece of advice that you would give to clients with ADHD about therapy. 

Justin: Lean into the discomfort.

Brianna: That's a good one.

Justin: 

Brianna: for people trying to discover like who they are at their core or how their life, like any goal that you really have for therapy. Like, how do I want my life to look like, who I, I am, like what's been going on? All of those questions. You can like solve on your own, but it is so much faster and easier when you have a dedicated time and space to do that.

And so [00:30:00] if you are at a place in your life where you are wanting change or wanting growth or wanting something. Why not treat yourself like it's little treat culture? Why not? Instead of having an $8 coffee every day, go like figure out what your life goals are and who you are as a person with someone who gets it.

 wholeheartedly believe that.

Melissa: Moving forward, you don't have to ask, is therapy good or bad? You can ask a more useful question, does it actually support how my brain works? That question alone can change how you experience therapy

Um, Justin, where can our audience find you? 

Justin: Oh, thank you for asking. Um, you can go to my website, which is Justin Lamb. LPC at G No, that's my email address. Justin Lamb

lpc.com.. Um, I will have a podcast out eventually. I don't know when this is gonna come out, but it 

Melissa: What's it called 

Justin: Interrupted 

Justin Lamb lpc.com.

Melissa: Great. Brianna, where can [00:31:00] they find you? 

Brianna: You can find me@understandingadhd.ca.

Melissa: You can find me@likemindcoaching.com, 

 Until next time, thank you so much for joining us. Bye 

Brianna: Bye.